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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

Now That I'm Older,

by Koa Ho

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1.
now that i’m older i don’t look the same but that doesn’t mean all my demons won’t recognize me crimson and clover, there’s so much that’s changed day after day all my angels keep flying away come what may (come what may) i’ll find another way (another way) maybe i’ll try and pray i’ll find another way come sunday now that i’ve fallen so far from the light i’m no longer blind, i can see what was hidden in plain sight darkness was all that i needed to find the simple reminder that all i need is inside come what may (come what may) i’ll find another way (another way) maybe i’ll try and pray i’ll find another way come sunday
2.
No Laughter 02:43
the bed’s still warm as you sit up straight and raise your fist as if we’re enemies but then recoil in pain we’ve talked for hours, it’s getting late* i dissolve and scatter desperately into your lingering gaze i don’t know, i don’t know, i don’t know how we got here before i just hope, i just hope, i just hope you can smile some more but there’s no laughter there’s no laughter what comes after?
3.
Pleasure 03:50
is now a good time to talk? just wanted to hear your voice on the line doesn’t matter ‘bout what there’s never really a time when you’re not on my mind the situation makes me feel like i just let you down negotiating every day with how i feel about you in my life when i feel like it’s not the time i don’t mind if you tell me those lies just don’t you tell me goodbye it’s alright since we’ve both been unkind but are you satisfied? ‘cause i feel guilty about this pleasure will it kill me now or never? now it’s late in the day you’re an hour ahead and i’m always behind ask why i’m still awake it’s cause there’s never a time when you’re not on my mind the situation makes me feel like i just let you down negotiating every day with how i feel about you in my life when i feel like it’s not the time i don’t mind if you tell me those lies but don’t you tell me goodbye it’s alright since we’ve both been unkind but are you satisfied? ‘cause i feel guilty about this pleasure will it kill me now or never? is the feeling gone forever? i’m no longer your guilty pleasure is the feeling gone forever? i’m no longer your guilty pleasure
4.
Corolla 03:06
Cotton candy pink and blood red Soft lips and ruby slippers You’re a silent movie when you’re in my bed Gilded in technicolor But I feel guilty to have earned your trust Have I been honest enough? Hush honey, don’t make a sound Just know that I want you Saw you dancing in the bloodlight Cutting a rug each night How naive to dream that I could satisfy With my two left feet and my starry eyes Hush honey, don’t make a sound Just know that I want you, at least for now Midnight sunlight met with a smile Gleaming so bright just for a while I’ll consider staying with you up until dawn Long as you can promise that when morning comes you’ll be gone Midnight sunlight met with a smile Gleaming so bright just for a while I’ll consider staying with you up until dawn Long as you can promise that when morning comes you’ll be gone

credits

released October 7, 2022

Co-produced by Koa Ho & Daniel Loumpouridis
Mixed by Koa Ho
Mastered by Joshua Pleeter at Dimension 70

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Koa Ho Brooklyn, New York

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